We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
