there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
