Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
