I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize