you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
