Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
