You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
