HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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