This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
