Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
