Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
