If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
