So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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