my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize