she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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