Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
