apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
