So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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