please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The best revenge is premature balding
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
