Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
