Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
