Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
