My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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