You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
