He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
