it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
