I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
