high people should be assigned attendants
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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