At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
