I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
operation harelip BJ is a go
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
