i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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