I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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