do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
