he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I wish there were birth control emojis
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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