if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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