She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
