After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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