my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
