I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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