I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
