I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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