she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
