I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
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If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
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Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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