I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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