i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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