just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
