Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize