I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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