I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
