i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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