Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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