im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
