is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
And then he peed in my hair
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