Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
