i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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