you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
