Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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