its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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