the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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