Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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