There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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