STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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