So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize